


Special Instructions: Kiss Me

by callumhighway



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, It started off as a joke idk what i'm doing anymore, M/M, Pizza Delivery Boy Callum AU, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22118866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumhighway/pseuds/callumhighway
Summary: Ben is intrigued by the striking blue eyed pizza boy and the little messages he leaves on his pizza boxes. He thinks maybe he's finally moved on from Paul.but is there more to it? more to him?
Relationships: Ben Mitchell & Lexi Pearce, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Jay Brown/Lola Pearce
Comments: 39
Kudos: 184





	1. Where it all began.

Ben gently pulled down the blind slat of the car lot window and peeked into the square. The usual suspects were about- Jack, Amy, and Ricky- who were coming out the Minute Mart door. Jack was carrying a brown paper bag in each hand, (a new policy which Honey had put in place to ‘save the environment’. Ben, of course, didn’t think much of it.). Amy and Ricky each seemed to have some sort of ‘pick n mix’ in their hands. Ben made a mental note to go and pick something up for Lexi after snapping at her this morning.

He averted his eyes across the square, whereby he saw Jay stumbling out the Vic, hand in hand with Lola, happiness evident on their beaming faces. He watched them make their way over to the Beale’s, exchanging giggles and blushing smiles the whole way. As they reached the gate, the back door of the Beale’s crashed open. Lexi darted out, half of her golden hair in a neat, tidy plait, and the other half a birds’ nest. From its state, Ben assumed his dear Mother had started to plait her hair to keep it out of her face, and Lexi hadn’t been able to sit still long enough to get the job done. He gently laughed to himself, that sounded like his daughter. She was by far the best thing to have ever happened to him.

He recalls entering her world after Paul, and her being the only light in his very dark life. Obviously it all hadn’t come naturally to him. They say you lock eyes on your child and suddenly you’re capable of becoming a parent- how wrong was that? The first time Billy had suggested him tagging along on a trip to Newcastle to visit Lola and Lexi, he’d turned up a sour face. How was he meant to just suddenly appear in this 6 year olds life? He remembered how long it had taken for him and Phil to try and form a bond, even now it was still fragile, weak and could snap at any moment. It left Ben questioning; was it worth the hassle? Would he end up doing more harm than good?

After much deliberation and second guessing, he made the trip. Of course, at first, it was awkward and uncomfortable. That was understandable. From a tiny 6 year olds perspective, an unknown man had just walked into her house, with her Grandad claiming that said man, which she had no recollection of, was actually her Daddy. It was going to be unnerving. Lexi had given him one look and wanted nothing more to do with him, remaining settled in the corner of the couch, brushing her dolls hair absentmindedly, eyes glued to some puppet show. Ben didn’t accept defeat though, as whilst Lola and Billy were nattering in the kitchen, he slowly made his way over to the small girl on the sofa. He didn’t have much experience with children. Were they like cats? Do you have to move slowly so they don’t freak? He gently sat on the arm of the sofa, not taking his eyes off Lexi. She looked over to him with a confused face.

“What are you doing here?” She questioned, eyes going back to the TV.

It was Ben’s turn to be puzzled. _What was he doing here?_ She clearly didn’t have much interest in getting to know him. He opened his mouth a couple of times, unsure how to answer. Lexi turned her head back to him, awaiting a response.

“Mummy said you do bad things,” She stated matter of factly.

Ben felt his heart sink. Had Lola been bad mouthing him to _their_ daughter this whole time?

“ _Did_ bad things” Ben corrected softly, smiling at her.

“I did a bad thing once” She agreed, with wide eyes.

“What did you do?” Ben curiously questioned in return.

Lexi sat her doll next to her, and turned her body completely, so she was facing Ben.

“Well one day, in school, Alice was colouring with the bright pink crayon which i really really needed for my flower picture, so when she wasn’t looking I went and stole it and hid it in the reading corner,” She retold the story without taking a breath.

Ben’s lips curled upwards with glee, his smile so great it matched the sparkle in his eyes. This feeling was something he hadn’t felt for a long time. He wasn’t sure how he had ended up sitting with a six year old comparing _money laundering_ to stealing a pink crayon, but in context it was working, they were _bonding_.

“Do you like colouring then?” Ben asked, furthering the conversation.

Lexi nodded enthusiastically. “I have a big box of crayons upstairs with all the colours of the rainbow” Lexi replied quickly moving her hands around to emphasize her point.

“Wow!” Ben matched her enthusiasm, elongating his exclaim in order to emphasise his pretence excitement. He was getting the hang of this.

Lexi jumped to her feet bounding over to him. “Would you like to see?” She looked up inquisitively, smiling widely, one of her front teeth missing.

“I would.” He nodded, as he turned to watch her run off up the stairs to retrieve the crayons she had been so eagerly telling him about. His grin remained tattooed onto his face. This felt right.

Ever since that day, he’d made regular trips up to visit his daughter. She’d even come up to Walford to stay with him a handful of times. They’d spend days together visiting parks and zoos and curled up on the sofa watching all the Disney princess movies. Frozen was by far their favourite, and they killed the “Do you want to build a snowman?” duet. People closest to Ben had picked up on his change of attitude and demeanour in general, even Kathy had told him countless times that she was so proud of his turn around. He was _happy_... for the most part.

Then, out of nowhere, Lola tagged along one weekend. Some sort of fairytale happened, and her and Jay fell in love all over again, as they like to put it. Ben never believed in any of that bullshit. He made countless stories up for Lexi about the beautiful Princess falling in love with the charming Prince, but that’s all they were- stories. Then before long, on a Saturday morning, Lola, Jay, and Ben, with Lexi in tow, lugged their life possessions down from Newcastle to Albert Square. Ever since then, everything was a whirlwind. Lola, Jay and Lexi had moved into the flat above the undertakers, whilst Ben had stayed in his flat using his and Lexi’s days together decorating the spare bedroom to Lexi’s taste. They’d spent hours dragging paint brushes against the bare walls turning it into a pink paradise. They’d enrolled Lexi in to Walford Primary and Lola had started working at the salon. Everyone was settling in better than expected and it had all pieced together perfectly. After Paul, he had spent so long in the dark. However, the last few months he had realised looking for love or validation wasn’t at the top of his priority list anymore, because he got it all from the small family he had formed.

Ben flashed out of his daydream and checked his watch: _5:46pm_. He swiftly turned around from the window where he spent so long people watching, to see a large pile of papers on his desk, which immediately needed sorting through. Just as he finished tending to his tasks and cleaning up for the day, he heard hushed giggles from outside. The door of the car lot swung open, which made the notice board rattle. He looked up.

“Alright, Calamity Jane!” He smiled fondly over at Jay and Lexi, who were stood hand in hand in the doorway. Lexi’s hair, in comparison to earlier, was now neatly plaited on both sides.

“Sorry mate, you know what she’s like. Could wrap Hans from Frozen round her little finger!” He chuckled, looked down at Lexi and nudged her gently, proud of his Frozen reference. She glanced back up at him with a blank expression before rolling her eyes and dropping his hand. Lexi skipped over to Ben greeting him with a hug. He stroked her hair soothingly.

“Alright littlun' home time.” He gently grabbed her shoulders, lead her away from the rubber band ball she’d slyly picked up from his desk, and out the door.

The three of them spent the short walk home in comfortable silence, Lexi occasionally piped up with little stories about her day and what she’d been doing in maths class. They’d fallen into a comfortable routine where they would split their time between Lola and Jay’s flat, Ben’s flat, along with the Beale’s house, so Kathy could also spend time with Lexi (and nothing beats your mum’s home cooked meals).

They made their way over to Jay and Lola’s. Tonight was date night for Jay and Lola; they really were _that_ loved up couple, _that_ sickly sweet couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. _Love's young dream_. Ben been convincing himself for months that he most certainly wasn’t jealous about their relationship, and that he had everything he needed. Mostly it was true, he really had felt complete since becoming part of this little familial unit. The majority of the time he could distract himself from his thoughts, with work or by looking after Lexi. It was the cold, dark nights where the problems lie. He’d lay awake for hours longing for Paul; for what they had together; for what he made him feel; for the warmth he provided during the bitter winter ice. Ben supposed that no matter what, that spark in his heart would never be relit, despite how much he secretly craved it.

Lola and Jay had essentially headed straight back out as soon as they had arrived home. Ben was the one to prepare Lexi’s dinner and help her with her homework, which had become second nature to him over the past few months. They spent the evening memorising spelling words and laughing at knock knock jokes Lexi had been making up, none of which made much sense but left them both in stitches. By 7:45pm, Lexi was fast asleep in bed and Ben exited her room, pulling the door towards him and leaving a slight gap so the light could slither in. He then plonked himself down on the sofa in the living room, tilting his head back to rest against the cushion as he did so. He glanced over to see Lexi’s empty plate still lying dormant on the table, which reminded him promptly he hadn’t eaten since lunch. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the pizza app, his hunger taking over at this point. He decided he didn’t have time to dawdle, looking through all the ridiculously extravagant pizzas Dominos offered. He added a large meat feast to his basket, paid, and quickly typed a message in the special instructions box.

“ _Make it quick_ ”

Leaning forward, he picked up the television remote and placed his phone on the table in replacement. 10 minutes passed quickly as he flicked through the channels that Lola and Jay’s small TV had to offer. He whacked on some gangster nonsense, after giving up his life of crime he had to vicariously live through something.

_Ding!_

Grabbing his phone, he quickly unlocked it and saw his pizza was out for delivery by a driver called Callum. “ _Fucking finally_ ”, he thought, releasing a sigh. He made the adult decision to clean Lexi’s mess up from all over the table, so he didn’t cause an argument by spilling pizza sauce on Lola’s “brand new couch”. Despite her claims, it wasn’t brand new, it was Phil’s old couch, but “it’s new to us,” Lola would argue, and Ben couldn’t be bothered to put up the fight. He was putting the last of Lexi’s mountain of crayons away when he heard the doorbell ring.

Opening the door swiftly, he was met by striking blue eyes.

“Here ya go mate!” The man whom Ben assumed to be Callum, handed over the pizza.

Callum had a cheeky charm about him, Ben quickly concluded. He had a slight smirk on his lips, and his ocean blue eyes complimented his pallid skin. His endearingly oversized ears stuck out just underneath his pizza boy delivery hat.

“Uh...” Ben stuttered, suddenly feeling quite blushed. His cool as a cucumber demeanour quickly vanishing, he attempted to collect himself by reaching out his hand to take the pizza from Callum’s grasp.

“Cheers mate.” He said semi confidently, though his cheeks still warm scarlett against the cool air of the night.

Callum grinned at him in response, following with a weird looking wink which was more of an exaggerated blink, before he headed on his way. Ben shut the door, and placed his pizza on the newly clean kitchen table. Black scribble on the box suddenly catches his eye:

“ _Hope that was quick enough for you :)_ ”

He scoffed out a laugh. Not completely sure what had just rushed over him, he concluded that he was intrigued by this weird pizza delivery man. _Very_ intrigued indeed.


	2. Well, Pizza Boy

After the odd events Ben experienced last night, the rest of the evening had flown by. Lola and Jay had made their appearance around midnight, staggering in with flushed faces and hoarse voices. 

“Good night you two?” Ben questioned from where he was now stationed at the kitchen table, empty pizza box in tow, cute pizza boys scribbles staring at him. He flashed them a quick closed mouth smile. 

“Wonderful mate, just wonderful.” Jay gushed, making his way over and pulling him into a hug. 

Ben reluctantly reciprocated, giving Lola the side eye. 

“I love you bruv,” Jay announced as he untangled himself from Ben. 

Before Ben could reply, Jay had stumbled away making his way to his and Lola’s bedroom. He turned on his heels when he reached his destination and blew Ben and Lola a kiss before wobbling in.

“What’s put a spring in his step?” Ben was greatly amused = his usually dead expressioned best mate had just waltzed in like he’d won the lottery.

“Two for one cocktails.” 

“Oh and the free drinks Billy chucked at him all night,” Lola added with an eyebrow raised.

Lola was clearly not in the same state as Jay. Her cheeks were flushed rosy, tipsy at best.

“And why didn’t you join in on the party? If Jay is in that state I would’ve been half paralytic. I expected more from you Lola, Mitchell genes and all that,” Ben teased.

Lola let out a snicker as she poked Ben’s shoulder, mouth hanging open at the implication.

“One out of the three of us has to be the sensible one or Lexi’s got no hope has she?”

They shared a chuckle before exchanging goodnights. On her way out the kitchen, Lola gently squeezed Ben’s shoulder. 

“Make sure you turn everything off before you leave Ben,” she reminded him.

Ben nodded at her before blowing a kiss and watching her head off to join Jay who was, most likely, dead to the world at this point going by his previous state.

Ben started making his way round the sitting room, turning everything off and collecting his belongings. He took one last look at the empty pizza box, gently tracing his finger over the black scribble. He had spent his evening trying to comprehend what had come over him with this dorky pizza boy, He’d decided that perhaps he was finally getting over Paul - maybe he was  _ finally  _ in a place to be able to find another man attractive without all the guilt and feelings of betraying Paul eating him up. He remembered a time when he was so deep in the dark spiral that if he even locked eyes with another man, his stomach would bunch up in knots and he would feel immense shame, immense guilt, immense hatred for himself that he was cheating on Paul. He then had the gut wrenching task of reminding himself Paul was gone. It was a vicious cycle, but he saw the pizza boy as progress in his healing. He figured he’d never see this man again so what was the harm in a  _ little school boy crush? _

He shrugged his jacket on, grabbed his keys in one hand and the pizza box in the other, and locked up the place, just as Lola had asked him to head downstairs. He was met with the icy cold air of the night prickling at his nose. He sniffed, pulling the two sides of his jacket together. The first of his tasks was to recycle that damn pizza box.  _ Crushes and recycling,  _ he thought, scanning his surroundings for a recycling bin.  _ I’m a changed man.  _ His eyes settled on the large recycling bins placed conveniently just to the right of his flat. As he walked past, he eyed the writing on the pizza box, smile etched across his face before chucking it in the bin and going on his way. By the time he’d made the small journey to his flat, the exhaustion of looking after a hyperactive seven-year old for the evening had kicked in and he decided to reign in for the night. Remembering how busy of a day he had with appointments for potential clients tomorrow, he rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh before heading to bed.

****

He was awoken the next morning by the dreaded noise of his alarm ringing in his ears. Leaning over, he hit snooze and brought his hands up to his weary eyes. Resting himself up on his elbow, he quickly checked his phone - no notifications. Everyone had survived the night without him.  _ Fantastic _ . He couldn’t count the times on one hand he’d woken up to a flurry of texts from Jay having problems with the lot, Lola needing him to have a word with Lexi or the countless times Phil had texted him about some major, huge, gigantic problem that nine times out of ten turned out to be nothing. He reluctantly dragged himself out of the warm cocoon of his duvet before immediately being met with piercing cold air. Goosebumps appearing on his arms, he swiftly made his way to the warm shower so he could once again fall into a warm cocoon for at least the next ten minutes. 

Ben spent the next ten minutes relaxing his muscles under the comforting stream of water, trying to push away all the checklists he was going over in his head for today. After his strict time slot he’d allocated himself was up, he unwillingly dragged himself out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his middle, dripping water and creating puddles all over the bathroom floor. Speedily going about the rest of his morning routine, he was out the door with time to spare. He began to make his way to the lot and noticed Jay exiting the flat, looking disheveled  _ at best _ . Ben made his way over.

“Rough night my brother?” Ben teased, reaching up to place a hand on Jay’s back.

Jay was barely holding himself up, clearly hadn’t bothered to shave that morning. He lifted his right hand to balance himself between the wall and Ben’s grasp. Ben watched him, greatly amused by the whole situation and how out of depth Jay was.  _ Classic Ben.  _ After a few seconds Jay had recollected himself and lifted his head back up.

“False alarm,” he stated, letting his hand drop from his steadying grip on Ben’s arm and breathing a sigh of relief. 

Ben chuckled. “Oh mate, this ain’t my first rodeo, cmon get some coffee down you and you’ll be right as rain.” Ben stormed ahead, no sympathy for the other man. 

“Best get yourself together mate, we’ve got a  _ huge  _ day ahead..” He said, turning around to add a sarcastic comment - which is what Ben did best. 

Jay grumbled an incoherent response and trailed along behind Ben, unable to catch up to him until they’d arrived at the car lot.

Ben handed Jay the keys. “You open up and i’m going to go and get you a coffee to spruce you up a bit, Don’t ever say I don’t do anything for you,” Ben reminded by giving him a point as he walked away. 

Quickly making his way to the cafe, he was met by Kathy who was occupying the time by cleaning the counter top.

“Two coffees please Mum,” he said, giving her a chipper smile.

Kathy raised an eyebrow and dramatically checked her watch. “9:04am and you’re smiling like the Cheshire Cat - who’s replaced my son?” She turned around to tend to the coffee machine and start the boys coffees

Ben let out a snort. “Just happy to see my lovely mother, is all,” he retorted back, tapping his fingers on the counter and drumming a slow rhythm as he waited.

Kathy placed the lids on the coffees and handed them over to her son. 

“On the house love, seeing you happy is payment enough. Say hello to Jay for me.” And with that she was off to go clear a table and carry on about her day.

****

Ben left the cafe with a smile stretching across his face. Even though he had one hundred and ten things to do he felt positive about the day. By the time he’d arrived back at the lot, Jay seemed to have perked up and was conversing with a client by showing off some cars out the front. Ben gave him a quick wave before heading inside and placing his coffee on the side ready for when he returned. Ben made his way to his desk and started trawling through paperwork - his first client was set to be arriving in the next fifteen minutes. On paper there seemed to be a couple of wealthier clients scheduled for today and he was confident he would be able to shift a few motors on the higher end of the budget. He took a sip of his coffee and started getting ready and set for his first customer.

The day had flown by: he’d managed to shift three motors and Jay two. So by all means a successful day all round. By the time six oclock had rolled around, him and Jay were drained by all the constant conversation and customer service voices, and Ben stretched out his arms, straightening his spine against his desk chair and letting out a weary yawn. After this, they locked up fairly quickly, wanting to get home and relax for the evening as soon as possible. Lexi was at a playdate so there’d been no family plans for the  evening, and with that Jay reminded Ben he was taking Lexi to school tomorrow before they both went their separate ways. 

****

Ben arrived home and threw himself on the couch. Situating himself for the next hour or so, he decided he’d unwind for a while and then start on dinner. Since he didn’t have Lexi to feed tonight so figured he could take advantage of the freedom. Picking up the remote, he flicked through the channels but could feel his eyes getting heavier with every click.  _ I’ll just rest my eyes _ , he thought, and with that he dozed off within minutes.

Bringing his hands to his face, he lazily rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he adjusted to the harsh lights. Looking over to the clock, he realised he’d been sleeping for approximately the past three hours. He let out a miffed sigh and rose to his feet, dragging himself over to the fridge. Opening it, he was met with half a pint of milk, a green pepper, and a pack of Lexi’s yoghurts for her school packed lunch. The cupboard’s weren’t of much variety either with contenders such as: spaghetti hoops and fake tins from Lexi’s play kitchen. He collected up all of Lexi’s cans in his pockets and paraded his way to her room to put them in their designated place. Why did a  _ seven year old _ have more  _ fake  _ food then he had real food? After a few minutes of organizing Lexi’s kitchen his mind went back to his problem of  _ no food being in the house.  _ He retrieved his phone from his pocket and his finger hovered over the Domino’s app. He made a clicking noise with his tongue deliberating on whether to take the plunge of two pizza nights on the run,  _ fuck it.  _ Clicking the app, he added another meat feast to his basket, this time taking the olives off as he’d only ended up picking them off the previous night. He realised he should’ve nipped down to the minute mart and picked some bits up to have a heartier meal but what’s done was done. 

Leaving his phone on the table, he proceeded to clean up Lexi’s room as he patiently waited for the pizza to arrive. He heard the out for delivery notification go from the other room, and continued on his business. Before long, he heard the door knock and he made his way out to collect his pizza. He reached for the door - now thinking about he should make a trip to the gym to make up for this impulse decision - but looking up he intaked a harsh breath.

“Oh..uh..” His breath catching in his throat.

There he was, standing there looking as dreamy as he did the night before. The pizza boy.

Callum scoffed out a quick laugh.

“Fancy seeing you here stranger,” he said, looking delighted at the whole situation. 

Before Ben could even muster up some kind of response Callum piped up again “Unless you’ve got an extremely good looking twin I think we’ve met before.” He threw in another one of his non wink-winks, blush rising up his ears. He was confident and charming and just implied Ben was good looking-  _ wait was he gay? _ Was he making a  _ joke _ ? Ben didn’t know how to handle the situation. The feeling of being out of depth wasn’t one that came often to Ben. He classed himself as experienced but for some bizarre reason this Callum guy had torn down his walls and he was left flailing with nothing to cling on to.

Without hurrying, he reached his hands out to collect the pizza. Pizza now in his hand he regained his cool slightly. “Well I’ll hopefully see you again when I go on another pizza binge.” He said, letting out an embarrassed laugh and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he realised just how stiff it had sounded, far from how flawless it sounded in his head. How had the  _ pizza boy _ of all people made him a blundering mess?  “I hope so.” Callum spoke with such ease and conviction. Ben was uncertain. He was usually the one calling the shots and making the moves. It was all unusual to him. New territory and he didn’t know where to tread. 

Ben stared up at him wide eyed flashing an affectionate smile second guessing. “What is this?” Ben blurted out without a second thought. 

It was now Callum’s turn to be somewhat taken aback. “I’m just the pizza boy delivering pizza to an adorable customer.” He remarked, blush now travelling from his ears to his cheeks leaving him with a rosy glow. 

“Well, pizza boy, don’t you have more pizzas to deliver, or do you just want to stand and flirt with me all evening?” Ben now gaining momentum, certain that the man stood in front of him was gay, he raised an eyebrow, challenging him. This was definitely flirting.  _ Why _ was he flirting with the pizza boy at 9pm on a  _ Thursday evening _ ? The fact they were standing in his doorway, one man grasping a quickly cooling pizza, the other wearing a ridiculous pizza boy cap. It was weird,  _ this was weird.  _

Callum eyed his watch, confident walls crumbling slightly. His voice was softer. “Actually, yeah no matter how fun this is, I should probably go and do my job.” He pulled a face at Ben. “Enjoy your pizza, no olives.” Ben watched as very similarly to the previous night, Callum turned on his heels, not even waiting for a response from Ben, and made his way towards the street. As he got a few steps away, he turned back, “Oh wait it’s not fair you knowing my name and me now knowing yours.”

“Ben.”

Callum felt a bashful smile tug at his lips. “Ben,” he repeated. “Lovely name for a lovely man.” 

Ben smiled back now feeling himself going crimson. “Bye Callum” 

“Bye Ben, see you next time.”

With that, Callum had turned the corner into the gloomy darkness of the cool February evening and Ben was once again left rattled by the events of the last five minutes.  _ Why did a few minutes feel like an hour?  _ He shut the door gently and made his way over to the sofa to delve in to his now very late dinner. 

It had been a few hours and Ben was now laying on his bed staring at the ceiling blankly. Unknown to him whether the three hour nap was keeping him up or the fact he couldn’t stop thinking about  _ Callum,  _ he’d been tossing and turning for the past hour. Pulling the covers up to his neck he let out a tired sigh. Why wasn’t sleep taking him? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about the confident but newly discovered dorky pizza boy? He may have been in an odd situation but one thing for certain is that he wanted to know more about this Callum guy. Was he definitely gay?,  _ He had to be. _ Ben went over it in his head. He was definitely flirting -  _ or was he _ ? Was he just _ being nice _ ?  _ Having a joke _ ? Nine times out of ten Ben had met his hook ups on a app specifically created for gay men so the intentions were always pretty clear. Ben’s mind was swirling with all these thoughts as he eventually fell asleep.

He wasn’t sure of much, but he was sure he wanted to know more about Callum.


	3. What's The Fun In That?

After finally dropping off around 2:00am earlier that morning, Ben was not feeling too fresh now it had hit 7:00am and he was getting himself ready at the crack of dawn to go and take Lexi to school. Perching on the end of his bed, he bent down to tie his shoes before he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he quickly skimmed the text from Lola reminding him he was on dropping off and picking up duty and how Lexi had after school club. He was aware of all of this but he knew for Lola’s sanity that she felt better chucking all of the information on him so he could check back for reference if he ever needed to.  _ He never did _ . He quickly texted back a thumbs up and placed the phone back in his back pocket before making his way out to the living room, not bothering to make his bed more presentable - it was far too early to faff about. Taking Lexi to school meant he had to rise a whole hour earlier, which of course for Ben was a catastrophic inconvenience, but when Lexi looked up at him with her best puppy dog face and asked him to take her to school, how could he say no? 

Ben looked around the living room, quickly making a mental note of how much of a state it was in and added that to his checklist of things to do today. Before that though was a food shop. No matter how cute the pizza boy was he couldn’t be living off pizza - two days on the run was already pushing it. Friday’s were his days off from the car lot and had become his and Lexi’s one-on-one days, but just because he couldn’t have pizza anymore didn’t mean he couldn’t treat Lexi to a special Friday night dinner. Ben smirked to himself; he knew he wanted to find out more about the pizza boy, he just had to be creative with it. It benefited them both  _ really _ . Lexi loved pizza and would be excited with the promise of a treat whilst Ben could see Callum again. He walked over to the toaster, grabbing the last slice of the loaf and popping it down.  _ He really needed to do this food shop _ . He shifted on his heels as he waited for the toast to pop up, taking frequent glances at his watch. Once his toast had finally popped he grabbed it hastily, burning his fingers slightly in the process, and headed out the door, eating as he went. 

****

Arriving at Jay and Lola’s flat, he gave a brisk knock on the door. Within seconds the door flung open and he was met with Lexi’s face beaming up at him.

“Daddy, Daddy,” she exclaimed, enthusiastically jumping into his arms.

That was one thing about parenting he didn’t expect before he was in the position himself: they were full of beans  _ all the time _ . From morning to evening Lexi functioned at 100mph. 

“Hello princess.” He lifted her up as he gently hugged her before putting her back on her feet.

“Why are you not ready for school?” He questioned, looking down at her and raising a stern eyebrow. 

Lexi, in her defence, was in her school uniform but seemed to have got distracted and hadn’t finished the getting ready process. Her hair was unruly and needed a good brushing and her shoes were nowhere to be seen, her socks falling down slightly.

“Was waiting for you, weren’t I?” She grabbed his large hand and dragged him into the flat, slamming the door behind her with a loud bang. 

A loud “Lexi!” echoed out from the kitchen and Lola appeared in the doorway. “Just because you’re up at the crack of dawn doesn’t mean everyone is madum,” she reminded her.

“Sorry.” Lexi let out, continuing to drag Ben to her bedroom and not really taking much notice of what Lola had just said.

Once they’d arrived to Lexi’s room, she situated herself at her dressing table. In front of her, spread out across the surface, were handfuls of bows, decorated with every colour under the sun. 

“You’re going to do my hair today Daddy,” Lexi announced, her plan finally coming in to place. Lexi knew what she wanted and when she wanted it, a trait Ben was certain had been passed on from him.

“Oh, am I?” Ben questioned back, letting out a laugh. 

“Yes and you’re going to do this..” She trailed off, lifting her hands up to show him the style she wanted, tongue poking out in concentration. 

Ben reached for the brush from the dressing table and, with care, gently began to tame Lexi’s hair. 

“I’ve got a question for you Lex,” Ben stated as he removed the last knot from his daughters locks. He placed the hairbrush down again.

“What do you think about us ordering pizza tonight?” He inquired, gently kissing the top of her now brushed out hair. 

She stared up at him wide-eyed. “Really Daddy?”

“Yes Lex, hand me a bow.”

She carefully chose a pink bow before handing it to him. “What pizza are you going to get Dad? I’m going to get cheese with extra, extra cheese.” She moved her head round as she spoke.

Ben steadied her head with his hands. “You’ve got to keep your head still miss, this is why your Mum refuses to do your hair, isn’t it?” He laughed down at her. 

She nodded. “Sorry, I’ll keep my head still now.” She clasped her hands together in front of her and watched herself in the mirror.

Ben gazed down at her, his heart bursting with admiration for the small girl in front of him. He tied the bows in her hair to perfection, clapping his hands together enthusiastically. “Right we’re done, go get your shoes on please.”

“Thanks Dad,” she shouted, like a banshee as she skipped out of the room. Clearly Lola’s comment of keeping it down going in one ear and out the next.

Ben followed her out in search of Lola and Jay. Lola was preparing Lexi’s packed lunch whilst Jay stood next to her, sipping his coffee.

“She got you submitting to her orders then?” Jay scoffed out a laugh before taking another sip. “Never did I think I'd see Ben Mitchell gone soft, it’s a good look on you mate.” 

Ben flashed him a warning look as Lexi reappeared, stamping her feet and making her school shoes flash up. “Shoes are on,” she said as she outstretched her arms before striking a dramatic pose.

“Need to get you in some tap dancing classes, follow in your Dad’s footsteps,” Lola teased as she passed Lexi’s lunch box over to her. Lexi gave a baffled look to the three of them as they all laughed in agreement. 

“Right, come on miss say goodbye to your Mum, we’re off,” Ben said, taking the lunchbox from her hands.

Lexi made her way round the room, hugging Lola and Jay and promising she’d be good for her Dad, and with that they made their way out the door and started the short walk to school.

****

They walked hand in hand, Ben now sporting a pink flowery lunchbox in the opposite hand and a pink backpack slung over his shoulder.  _ Fatherhood _ . “Daaaaad,” Lexi sang, dragging out his name. Ben looked down at her, urging her to continue.

“Can we really get pizza tonight, do you promise?” Lexi asked wide-eyed.

“Of course princess, when has Daddy ever broken a promise?” 

“Well, there was the time you promised to finish my story, and you still haven’t,” she muttered, clear by the tone of her voice that she was holding a grudge.

“We can do that tonight too if you like.” He assured.

Lexi stopped in her tracks, dropping Ben’s hand. She lifted her right pinky up to Ben. “Pinky swear.” Ben let out a grateful smile as he wrapped his large pinky finger round her tiny pinky finger, sealing the deal. “You can’t break a pinky promise,” she added with confidence, grabbing his hand again and carrying on walking. Even with that brief interlude, they arrived at school on time, said their goodbyes, and Lexi ran off to join her friends. Ben figured now was as good a time as any to start making his way down his mammoth to do list. 

His day had gone pretty quick and before long it was time to go back and pick Lexi up. He’d had a pretty productive morning: he’d gone to the Minute Mart and restocked his cupboards, helped Jay shift a car -  _ on his day off _ , gone for a chat with Phil - which hadn’t ended in an argument, cleaned the flat, and had a good catch up with Lola by marking important dates like parents evening into his calendar. By this time, it was already approaching 4:00pm and Lexi’s club would be finishing up soon, so he made his way back to the school gates. He passed the time playing some dumb game on his phone, and soon enough Lexi was out and they made their way home whilst she chatted with him about what she’d been doing in drama club that evening. He watched her carefully as she basically recreated her drama performance right there and then in the street. He cherished her confidence; he hoped  _ nothing  _ would ever knock her fearlessness like Phil had knocked his when he was that age. 

Feeling nothing but pride for his daughter, he checked their plans. “We still on for our pizza date princess?” he said, swinging their hands slightly.

“Obviously,” she said without missing a beat, rolling her eyes ever so slightly as though he’d just asked the stupidest question in the world. “You can’t break a pinky promise,” she reiterated. 

“You can’t break a pinky promise,” He confirmed. 

****

They arrived to Ben’s flat with Ben sending Lexi to play for a while whilst he continued putting away the shopping that had been left on the floor from earlier. Just as Ben was finishing stocking the cupboards, Lexi made a reappearance. “I’m hungry,” She stated, sitting herself down at the kitchen table and looking up at Ben. Opening the ”bits and bobs” drawer, he searched for the pizza menu. Once he located it under a tape measure and a pack of spare toothbrushes, he planted it in front of Lexi, pointing out the list of pizzas. 

“Have a snoop through that and pick what you want.” 

“I told you already,” she said, letting out a dramatic sigh, “I want cheese with  _ extra _ ,  _ extra _ cheese.” 

“Just have a double check while I finish this, yeah?” This seemed to satisfy Lexi as she started to move her finger along the words, reading out loud quietly. Ben went back to disposing of the now empty shopping bags, and once that was finished with he turned back to Lexi.

“Right have we made a decision?” He questioned her.

“Cheese with extra, extra cheese.” She thought for a second before adding, “with pepperoni.”

“See, you needed the double check didn’t you?” Ben laughed. He knew his daughter.

She nodded in response and pointed out what she wants on the menu. 

Ben pulled out his phone and tapped in her order,  _ small pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni _ , before adding cookies to the basket too - this was a  _ treat  _ after all. He turned the phone so Lexi could confirm the order, her eyes lighting up at the addition of the cookies. “Go big or go home hey,” Ben joked, stroking some stray strands of hair out of her face.

“Thanks Daddy.” With that, she was off to situate herself in front of the TV, leaving Ben to place the order. As soon as Ben had placed the order he switched over to his order information checking out who was delivering. He scanned the page briefly looking for the name.  _ Dom.  _ Ben shook his head. He had an epiphany. Was he really about to do this?  _ Fuck it _ . He switched back over to his order cancelling it swiftly, almost like it had never happened. He tapped the order in again in record time clicking pay, and, like before, he switched over to his order information, eyes going straight back to the name.  _ Dom  _ again _.  _ He let out an exasperated sigh. The logical explanation was that Callum wasn’t on shift right now, but  _ what if he was _ ? He hurried to cancel the order once again, making his way to join Lexi on the sofa. 

Snuggling into his side, he put his arm around her. “Is my pizza on it’s way?” She questioned, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Yes darling, it’ll be here in no time.” Just a little lie.

They stayed curled up for a few minutes before Ben then slyly picked up his phone, eyeing Lexi tactically. She had her eyes glued to the TV, taking no notice of her surroundings. Logging back onto the app, he tapped in the order for the third time, occasionally glancing over at Lexi.  _ Third times a charm _ . He couldn’t even begin to rationalize what he was doing. Torturously, he watched the cog turning round, waiting for his order to go through before he, for the third time, switched over to his order information, eyes darting straight to the delivery driver.  _ Callum _ . Ben let out a victorious smile, joy evident on his face. He, of course, knew what he’d done was completely ridiculous in every sense of the word. In fact, Ben was slightly embarrassed by the events of the last ten minutes. He felt like a bit of a stalker in all honesty, but what  _ else  _ was he meant to do if he didn’t have this guys number? He was snapped out of his thoughts when Lexi spoke up.

“This pizzas taking ages,” she remarked, leaning forward to change the channel to some other colourful, singing kids show.

Ben felt a bit guilty then, but it’d be here in no time now he’d actually placed the order.

“Must be busy, it's Friday. Maybe all the boys and girls are getting special Friday night pizza treats.” He was blabbering on at this point, overcompensating for the fact he’d just cancelled his daughters dinner twice for the sake of a crush.  _ Embarrassing _ . Lexi seemed satisfied with this answer though, giving a nod and going back to her show.

****

Ben impatiently watched the clock, waiting for Callum to make his appearance. Before long, he finally heard the brisk knock and instantaneously jumped to his feet causing Lexi to jump, she looked at him, clearly judging his antics.

Essentially prancing over to the door, he opened it with a pleased smile tattooed on his face. 

“Third day on the run, we have to stop running in to each other like this.” Callum looked good, like he always did, and he oozed confidence. This time he seemed to have ditched the pizza boy hat and his dark brown hair, free of product, was cascading across his forehead.  _ Why did he look cute with hat hair?  _

“Where’s your hat? Not very professional is it Mr. Pizza Boy.” He pointed up to his Callum’s hair, smirking slightly. 

“Actually you're in luck, i’ve just clocked off.” He looked down at the two small Domino's boxes. “This is small,” he said, stating the obvious. 

Almost as if it had been rehearsed, Lexi roamed over, sliding her feet slightly on the hardwood floor, and probably wondering why the exchange of handing the pizza over was taking this long.

Her eyes flashed between Ben and Callum, clearly confused by the situation. 

Callum smiled at the girl. “Here you go sweetheart.” He leant down ever so slightly to hand her the boxes. 

Retrieving the boxes from his hand, she muttered a quick “Thanks,” smiling sweetly up at him and with that she was off again.

Ben turned around quickly shouting after her, “Lex don’t spill anything please.”

“OK,” he heard echoing back. Maybe she got her permanent loudness from him after all.

He turned back to Callum. “That’s the sprog.”

Callum nodded understandingly. “She looks like you.” 

The smile that had been lingering on Ben’s face for the last few minutes had only got wider, reaching his eyes slightly. 

“So,” he continued, “as much fun as this is, I'd love to see you out of those clothes.” Ben eyed his pizza boy uniform up and down nonchalantly before he’d realised what he’d just said. “No..Uh..I mean like not naked, in normal clothes.” He was stammering, left with nothing to hold on o once again - why did this boy have this effect?

Callum let out a loud laugh, cutting through any of the awkwardness Ben assumed there would have been. 

“Who’s to say I don’t live in the pizza outfit?” Callum badgered back. 

“I can’t be taking a pizza boy to the pub, I’ve got a reputation to live up to.” 

“Oh, bit of a bad boy are ya?” Callum’s eyes lit up at this.

“You’ll have to let me take you out and we can see.” The thing Ben had come to learn with Callum was that he would get his mojo back, his signature confident charm, then Callum would say something that threw him off guard and he’d be back at square one, an embarrassing mess. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Callum questioned, leaning against the door frame slightly. 

_ Huh,  _ Ben couldn’t work this man out. “Fun in what?” Ben questioned him, lost at this point.

Callum stood up straight, taking a step closer to Ben. Ben’s breath caught in his throat.

“I just mean, why end this game so soon?” He lifted his hand up to cup the smaller man's cheek. “I saw you cancelling the orders.” Ben looked down awkwardly, his cheeks reddening. Callum lifted Ben’s chin up, now eye to eye. “Now I know you like this as much as I like this.” Callum licked his lips, gently dropping his hand from Ben’s flushed cheek and taking a step back once again.

Ben ran a quick hand through his hair. He was flustered. Callum eyed him up and down lazily. “I’ll leave you to it.” Callum met his eyes giving him a cheeky smile.

“I can’t keep ordering pizza.” 

Callum shrugged. “Not my problem,” his smile not leaving his face, and with that he was off.

Ben nibbled his bottom lip ever so slightly, watching as Callum walked away with conviction, not even a look back. 

Ben was left red faced, confused  _ yet still intrigued _ by this man once again. He made his way back inside, shutting the door gently and leaning himself against it, trying to regroup his thoughts. 

****

“Daddy,” he heard Lexi call out. He was bumped back to earth and wandered through to see his daughter cross legged on the floor, both dominoes boxes spread out in front of her, picnic style. She’d helped herself to juice and seemed perfectly content. 

“Did you know that man?” she queried, taking a bite of the pizza slice she had in her hand. 

Ben made his way over to the kitchen, grabbing a handful of napkins before joining her at her picnic station. “No,” he replied half honestly.  _ He didn’t really know Callum _ . 

“He seemed nice,” Lexi replied, not taking a second thought. “I’d like to deliver pizza when I’m grown up.”

Ben let out a chuckle. “Why’s that?” He handed her a napkin, indicating for her to clean her hands.

Taking the napkin, she began wiping her hands. “Well, you’d get free pizza wouldn’t you.”  _ She’d clearly thought this through before. _

“I don’t think that’s the case babe,” he said, retrieving the now dirty napkin she was handing back to him. 

“You could ask your pizza man friend,” she pointed out before moving the second box closer and opening it up in front of them both.

She carried on, “I saved these for when you finish my story,” before she poked each cookie gently, clearly trying to work out which was the best to eat. She settled on the slightly bigger one,  _ of course _ , and handed Ben the box for him to make his choice. 

“Right, where were we with this story then?” Ben asked, needing his memory refreshed. 

Lexi had her mouth full with cookie at this point. “The princess had just met the prince,” she reminded him, mumbling her sentence out. 

“Ahhhhh yes.” 

They spent the next hour sat cross legged on the floor, sharing cookies and finishing stories because  _ you can never break a pinky promise _ . 

Heading to bed that night, pulling the covers up to cocoon himself, he began to realise something new. The past week he hadn’t been plagued with thoughts of Paul. He’d been plagued with thoughts of  _ Callum _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Practically i know you can't keep cancelling your pizza order over and over but for the sake of the story u defo can soz dom


	4. You Fancy The Pizza Boy?

It had been a few days since Ben’s last run in with Callum. He was standing his ground. No matter how many times he’d wanted to order a pizza for the hell of it, he’d persevered and got some good food in his system. That’s not to say Callum hadn’t  _ constantly  _ plagued his thoughts. He was haunted by the lingering feeling of Callum’s hand softly resting on his cheek - he wanted  _ more _ . Not in the usual Ben sense; he wanted to connect on a deeper level and have actual conversations with Callum, not just get him into bed and leave, never to be seen again. He’d only met this guy three times for a maximum of five minutes each time, so  _ why was he so drawn to him _ ?

Ben was getting on with his life as normal. Tonight Lola, Jay and Lexi were heading round to his flat for the evening. There was no plan really, just some good old fashioned family time. Jay had been trying to convince him to head out for a few drinks later on all morning. 

“How long has it been since we’ve gone out, bro?” Jay was hovering round Ben’s desk like an annoying gnat. Ben rubbed his hand against his temple, gently wishing his approaching headache away.

“We’re supposed to be having family time.” Ben reminded him for the third time that morning, giving the other man a stern look when he’d decided to take a seat on his desk and mess up his paperwork.

“It is...But when littleun goes off to bed, we sneak off,” Jay explained, moving his hands around to gesticulate.

He carried on, “I’ll even be considerate, we can go to the gay bar, find you a nice fella for you to take home to your Mum.” 

Ben let out a laugh for the first time that day. “Oh how very charitable of you.” Ben shook his head. “You just like the ego boost when all the twinks chat you up.” He shooed Jay off his desk.

Jay stood up, looking out the window and seeing a customer making their way around the cars. He turned around to leave and see to them, “Is that a yes?” He questioned Ben. 

He didn’t particularly want to go out, but drunk Jay and the promise of a trip to the gay bar was rather tempting. Jay was right, they hadn’t been out in months. 

Ben gave a lazy shrug. “I don’t see why not, as long as I don’t get the blame for leaving Lola alone with Lexi.” 

Jay gave a victorious grin. “You won’t regret it,” he insisted before exiting the portacabin. 

Ben shook his head and got on with his work. 

****

Jay hadn’t stopped badgering on about this night out all day long with gentle reminders they were gonna have a good time. They were sat eating their lunch, Ben listening to Jay drone on. 

“I’m serious Ben, it’d be good for you to find someone. It’s been a while.” Jay gave him a look.  _ The look _ . The  _ maybe it’s time to start moving on from your dead boyfriend  _ look. A look he knew all too well - he’d had it from everyone at this point: Kathy, Lola, Jay, even Phil. 

Ben let out a overdramatic offended gasp. “Who’s to say I haven't already got somebody.”

Jay pulled a face. “Well you ain’t have ya?” 

“Maybe.” Ben teases, squinting his eyes slightly.

“This ain’t guess who mate, who is he?”

“I don’t have someone.” Ben admitted laughing, mixing his meal deal pasta round with his flimsy plastic fork.

“Right, exactly so we need to find you someone.” Jay explained for the second time that day. 

“I don’t need no one.” Ben sighed back. He was sick of the conversation now. 

“You do, think of how happy you were with Paul.” 

“Well Paul’s dead mate, and I don’t need you playing cupid for me. So back off yeah?” Ben snapped, putting the lid back on his lunch and sliding it across the desk away from him. 

Jay knew Ben and Ben knew Jay, arguably they knew each other the best of everyone. Jay knew Ben snapped easily and would be over it just as quickly, whilst Ben knew Jay wanted what was best for him. Jay muttered a quick “sorry mate,” and got on eating his lunch. 

After lunch, they’d both pottered round the lot getting on with their business and staying out of each others ways as best as they could in the tiny space they were forced to cohabitat. As the day was coming to an end, Ben went and plonked himself down on Jay’s desk before he started linking paper clips together absentmindedly. 

“I’m sorry for earlier mate.” Jay ignored the havoc he was reeking on his office supplies. “I just want what's best for you.”

Ben nodded smiling fondly. “I know.” 

“We still on for tonight?” Jay checked.

Ben jokingly pondered slightly. “As long as you don’t try set me up with some mug in the gay bar, you’re getting as bad as Lola.” 

“Oh, so you are up for the gay bar?” Jay joked. leaning over to push Ben off his desk.

“Always!”

****

They arrived back to Ben’s flat and were met with an appetizing smell. Heading to the kitchen, Ben saw Lola accompanied by Lexi standing on a chair over by the hob. 

“What do we have here?” Ben walked over, gave Lexi a quick kiss on the head, and peeked to see what smelt so good. It seemed Lola was currently assembling lasagna, whilst Lexi was stirring the mince in the pan with a wooden spoon and flinging it everywhere, or if you asked Lexi she was ‘helping’. Jay joined Ben’s side, peeking over to see what had created the smell and giving Lola a quick kiss. Before he could open his mouth, Lexi had jumped down from the chair and grabbed his hand. 

“Jay, I want to show you what I made in school.” She dragged him out of the kitchen and through to the living room.

Ben took the chance to put the chair back from where Lexi had dragged it from.

“What’s the occasion?” Ben asked Lola as she was putting the lasagna in the oven.

“Gotta get you boys fed before you go on the piss” She laughed as Ben stared wide-eyed at her. “Jay text me, I ain’t a mind reader Ben.” 

“You alright with that? I don’t want to leave you strapped down with Lexi.”

“Ben I managed for six years without you.” She reminded him. Ben wasn’t sure if this was a slight dig or not.

Lola must’ve sensed Ben tense up. “No, not like that. I just mean I'm perfectly capable,” she explained.

She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “You’re doing a great job, you deserve time to yourself, too.” Lola knew Ben hadn’t found the balance between parenting and taking time for himself yet. He sometimes needed reminding that he wasn’t failing if he had a night to himself. It was understandable really. It wasn’t just him to think about anymore, although sometimes he thought about everyone  _ but  _ himself. 

Lola started filling up the sink with the dirty pans. “You two have a good time yeah?”

“I’ll do that.” Ben pointed to the washing up.

“I’m fine Ben, go look at the pictures Lexi did at school, she’s been desperate to show the pair of ya.” She shooed him off.

“You’re the best Lo.” He reminded her. “I know I am, now shoo.” She turned around to start on the dishes. 

Ben shuffled his way in to the living room, kicking his shoes off in the process. He joined Jay and Lexi who were sat on the sofa, an assortment of Lexi’s drawings spread out on the coffee table. Ben settled himself on the sofa, Lexi now squished in between the two of them.

“Oh, we’ve got a little Picasso here have we?” Ben joked to Lexi, nudging her arm and wading through the colourful drawings gently. Some had been done with crayon, some with paint, and some had magazine clippings glued on. Lexi leaned forward to scavenge through the pile with purpose. After a few seconds she pulled out a picture and handed it to Ben. “I did this at school today.” She smiled a toothy grin, watching his face intently for any kind of reaction. Ben took the drawing gently, gazing at it. Lexi had drawn on one side of the now quite crumpled paper herself and Ben sat on the floor cross legged eating pizza. She walked him through it, “This is us when we had pizza on Friday and you finished my story.” She delicately traced each detail, explaining her thought process behind each decision. Usually the drawings Lexi gifted Ben were scribbly and didn’t look like too much but Ben could tell she’d worked hard on this, each pepperoni slice on her pizza was coloured in, boxes in front of them drawn, and cookies in each of their hands. Ben’s heart burst with pride thinking of Lexi working so hard on something to make it perfect for him.

Almost on cue, Lexi spoke up. “I worked really hard on it.” Ben’s eyes travelled to the top right hand corner of the page where a wobbly “To Daddy, From Lexi” was written, XO’s spreading round the scribble. He looked to the other side of the page and saw a similar drawing to the one of him and Lexi, but this time it was who he assumed was him and another man.  _ Was it Jay?  _ “That’s you and the pizza boy,” she carried on explaining. Ben’s heart skipped a beat. “I’ve drawn him with really big ears, he looked a bit like dumbo.” She pointed out his ears. “Not that that’s a bad thing, I like dumbo.” She then pointed out his pizza hat. “He wasn’t wearing a pizza hat, which is weird because how else are you meant to know he delivers pizza? So I drew one for him.” Ben had underestimated how observant Lexi was. He felt blush rising on his cheeks. He kept his cool as best as he could, embarrassed that Lexi had picked up on so much about Callum in the twenty seconds they had spent together. He prayed Jay wasn’t taking any notice and kept his eyes glued to the picture, watching Lexi point different things out. 

“I love it baby.” Ben said honestly, snuggling his daughter in to this side. 

Ben looked over to see Jay looking at him, a weird look plastered on his face.  _ Had he clocked on?  _ Before Ben could ponder his next move, Lola was calling them through for dinner and just like that the look was forgotten. The four of them sat devouring lasagna and sharing stories about their days. They were a proper little dysfunctional family, but it worked  _ so well _ for them. After everyone had cleaned their plates, Lexi was sent to play, Jay was doing the washing up whilst Lola stood next to him being as cutesey as they always were, and Ben headed to get ready for the night out. 

****

Ben quickly made himself presentable, slipping on a shirt and giving himself a spruce up but not really giving it too much thought. He wasn’t interested in pulling. Ben headed back out to the living room where Lexi was now in her pajamas and reading a book with Lola and Jay. 

“Took your time mate,” Jay laughed, rising to his feet to take a better look at Ben. Eyeing him up and down, Ben knew he still had the intention of setting him up with someone swirling round his head. Ben shooed his hands away from him, ironing his shirt down where Jay’s hands had grabbed hold of it. 

“Get out of here you two.” Lola piped up laughing at them and their antics. “Have fun.” 

They all exchanged goodbyes and with that Ben and Jay were off. It was only  _ 8pm _ at this point so they made their way over to The Vic. They stationed themselves at a table and Ben headed up to get the first round. 

He returned to Jay, beer in each hand. Jay was still smiling like the cheshire cat. 

“What is wrong with you today?” Ben asks, handing Jay’s beer over to him. 

Jay planted a quick kiss on Ben’s cheek. “Just happy to be spending time with my bruv.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “You ain’t even got any alcohol in your system yet,” 

****

With that, they spent the next couple of hours catching up.  _ Yes  _ they spent most days out of the week together, but it was nine times out of ten taken up by work chat or being distracted by Lexi. They got a few rounds down them and before long they were heading to the gay bar feeling slightly buzzed. A taster of what was to come for the rest of the night.

Arriving at the bar Jay stormed off ahead to order a round. Ben trailed behind him slightly, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. Ben eyed Jay ordering two shots each for the pair of them. He knew he was going to be a wreck later - he might as well embrace it. He slid the two shots from in front of Jay to him, lifting one up to his mouth and throwing it back. Feeling the liquid burn his throat he winced slightly. _ Fuck it.  _ He knocked the second back as quick as the first, turning to face Jay. “Catch up mate.” Ben grabbed Jay’s second shot from in front of him and got that down, too. “No messing about.” Ben winked and teetered off to the dance floor with music ringing in his ears.

The next few hours had flown by. They were both heavily intoxicated at this point, using each others grasp to keep them steady. They had left the bar a few minutes ago and were stumbling down the street in a heavy debate deciding which takeaway to sober up on. 

“Jay mate,” Ben stammered out, nudging the other boy slightly as he swayed unable to fully keep his balance. “I ain’t getting fish and chips at…” He stops his sentence lifting his watch to his face. “Midnight.” He continues. 

“You love a sausage Ben,” Jay choked out, clearly finding his own joke hilarious. 

Ben let out a fake retch, jabbing Jay in his side. 

“Domino's it is then yeah?” Jay decides, eyeing the approaching pizza store. 

“Like I said from the start,” Ben muttered under his breath, dragging them both into the store.

****

Ben perched himself on one of the waiting chairs, rubbing his eyes slightly. He was  _ exhausted _ , He didn’t know how Ben from this time last year used to stay out till sunrise, pulling different guys all nights of the week. He watched Jay go and grab a menu before placing himself on the chair next to Ben. Ben knew what he was getting, he was just waiting impatiently for Jay to make his decision. Ben took to people watching, most of the people here were tipsy from their respective nights out. He watched absentmindedly as the door of the kitchen opened and a tall man walked out and his eyes travelled up to the mans face.  _ Oh my god _ . Ben had been too drunk to even consider the fact he was sat in a Dominoes. The place Callum worked. They locked eyes, Ben jumped up and stumbled his way over to Callum. 

“Hey you.” Ben was definitely slurring, he was hoping Callum wasn’t going to catch on.

Callum tilted his head slightly, smirking back at him.

“Good night?” He questioned.

“Just fancied pizza didn’t i?” Ben pointed up to the counter, avoiding the previous question.

Callum nodded. “This wasn’t in our plan.”

“What plan?” Ben challenged him.

“The plan of us only meeting when you order pizza.” Callum lifted his hand up. running a gentle thumb under Ben’s weary eye. 

Ben melted into his touch, eyes softening. Callum dropped his hand as quick as he’d lifted it. It left Ben wondering if it had even happened. 

“Can I get your number?” Ben was trying his luck.

Callum let out at a laugh at Ben’s perseverance. “I’ve got to deliver this.” He motioned to his pizza bag in his left hand. 

Ben smiled, idea springing to his mind. He locked eyes with Callum, “See you soon.” Ben took a leaf out of Callum’s book, turning round to return to Jay and not even waiting for a response. 

Ben reached Jay who was staring, mouth hanging open after witnessing the whole thing.

“ _ That’s _ the pizza boy Lexi drew.” Jay stated clearly baffled by the situation. 

“Yeah. Maybe it is, but we’ve got to go order pizza at home.” He grabbed Jay’s arm, dragging him out of the shop.

Jay hobbled after Ben. “We’re going home to order pizza when we could order it right here, because you fancy the pizza boy and wanna have a gossip with him?” Jay repeated after listening to the whole story.

Ben stopped for a minute, realising how ridiculous it sounded out loud. “Well...yeah, something like that.”

Jay continued. “And Lexi knew before I did.” Jay sounded genuinely offended by this detail.

“Mate, I ain’t gone and told my seven year old the details of my love life - no one knows.” Ben bounded up the puddle laden stairs to his flat, tripping on the top step slightly. He turned around to wait for Jay who was trailing behind, “and it’s gonna stay that way.” 

Jay made a lips sealed motion and gave Ben a quick nod. “You could be a bit less obvious though, the state of your face when you saw Lexi’s drawing…” He trailed off, suppressing a giggle. “You went as red as a tomato.” 

“Ha ha.” Ben let out, dryly rolling his eyes.

****

They made their way inside to be met with Lola curled up under a blanket on the sofa, TV flickering in the background. The two men gently hushed each other, lightly treading to the kitchen.

“Good night you two?” Lola questioned, averting her eyes from whatever was playing on the TV. 

They gave each other a look: both assumed she’d been asleep. Jay bolted over to Lola to join her on the sofa, snuggling into her. She gave him a smile, covering him with the blanket she was draped in. Ben smiled at the pair of lovebirds.

“We’re gonna order pizza.” Jay announced quietly from under the blanket.

Lola gave them both a blank look, eyebrows furrowing together. “Why didn’t you get it when you were out? It’s literally around the corner.”

“Ben wants to shag the pizza delivery boy.” Jay said flatly, letting out another laugh. He clearly found it hilarious.

“Jay!” Ben exclaimed mouth falling open. 

“But it’s a secret Lo.” Jay added, resting his head against her shoulder. 

It was now Lola’s turn to be stunned. Her eyes flickered with confusion, clearly thinking deeply before she had her lightbulb moment. 

“Was that the man Lexi drew you with?” Recognition dawned on her face. It was all clicking into place.

Ben held his hands up slowly giving a half smile. “Guilty as charged.” 

Ben made his way over and placed himself gently on the arm of the sofa. He explained the whole situation to them, and by the end of the story Lola had a bright smile on her face. “It’s like a fairytale.” She beamed, clasping her hands together looking over at Jay who screwed up his face. 

“He wants to shag the pizza boy.” He announced for the second time that night. 

Lola scoffed at him, pulling the blanket and unraveling him from the cocoon he was wrapped in. “It’s romantic.” She poked him in the side with her manicured nail. “C’mon then, when are we ordering this pizza, I feel like I'm in a romcom. It needs a soundtrack,” She raised to her feet, clapping her hands. “C’mon,” she announced again. With that they all sprung into action.

Ben retrieved his phone, tapping in his order before handing it to Jay who then handed it to Lola. Ben paid, going straight to check the delivery driver was definitely who he needed it to be. His eyes skimmed the page.  _ Callum _ . His heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol heightening his emotions but he ached to see Callum again. He turned the phone round to Lola and Jay and pointed to the name. Lola’s face lit up, “This is so exciting.” Ben let out a laugh, the corners of his mouth turning up. 

Jay had nodded off wrapped around Lola at this point, but Ben and Lola spent the next fifteen minutes impatiently waiting, every slight creak their heads whipped to look at the door. After about twenty minutes they heard the knock on the door. Lola shook Jay awake forcefully. “It’s happening.” She pointed to the door. Jay rolled his eyes but moved himself into a sitting position so he could see what was going on. Ben made his way over to the door, looking back to give Jay and Lola an aggressive hush before he opened it, trying to keep his cool. 

****

“So, you’re the one making plans now.” Callum gazed into Ben’s eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a slight smile.  Ben took a sharp breath. How could one look knock him so much? Why was this always the case?

“You needed someone to play you at your own game,” Ben said with ease, He moved out to stand next to Callum, shutting the door quietly behind him. They were left looking each other intensely. 

Callum’s eyes squinted slightly flickering to Ben’s lips. “What game?” Callum questioned, voice low and gravely. 

Ben took a step closer to Callum, not breaking their gaze. Ben looked down and grabbed Callum’s hand before interlocking their fingers. He felt brave. Until he felt Callum tense up and look down slightly.  _ Had he messed this up already? _ As quick as the doubt had come, it had vanished when he felt Callum’s hand relax in to his, gently rubbing soothing circles with his thumb against Ben’s knuckles. The pit of Ben’s stomach was filled with fire dispersing within him, conflicting to the cool evening breeze. Ben took a breath trying his luck taking another step forward. He was relying on his liquid courage. The space was rapidly closing in between them and Ben felt his heart race increase, in fact, he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest - this was the closest they’d ever been.  _ This felt good _ . This time Callum leaned in further almost closing the gap, Ben felt the fire in his stomach erupt through his body, his arms pimpling with goosebumps. He could feel Callum’s warmth against his lips and he closed his eyes. “You’ve been on the bottle.” Callum spoke quietly against Ben’s skin, barely louder than a whisper. Ben’s eyes whipped open, being met with Callum’s cheeky smirk. Callum pulled back, pulling the rug from underneath Ben and he kept a firm grip on Ben’s hand, gently squeezing it when he saw Ben’s facial expression drop. Ben’s bottom lip jutted out, pouty face in full force. Callum matched his face and dropped Ben’s hand. 

“Patience,” Callum insisted, giving Ben a genuine smile. 

This seemed to be the pattern emerging with Callum. They would get so close and he would pull it all away at the last minute. Ben would normally hate this kind of game, but with Callum it felt sincere.  _ Everything  _ felt sincere with Callum. 

Callum leant down to retrieve the three pizza’s from his bag, handing them to Ben. Ben recalled the scenario for what it was. “Oh yeah...pizza.” Awkwardly nibbling his bottom lip, he took them from Callum’s grasp. 

“Is this going anywhere?” Ben questioned. The last of the alcohol in his system was definitely getting him braver than usual. Callum seemed to ignore the question. 

“Check your pizza box when you get inside.” He insisted.

Ben’s brow furrowed together, confusion evident on his face.

“Just trust me.” Callum nodded, lifting the back of his hand to gently rub against Ben’s cold cheek. With that he relaxed, because no matter how strange it sounded, he  _ did  _ trust this mysterious pizza boy he’d known for all of five minutes. 

Callum’s voice had softened slightly. “See you soon Ben.” 

Ben watched as Callum made his way into the moonlit street before turning round to enjoy a moments silence - he knew the minute he walked into the flat it would be question after question. 

****

He reopened the flat door as quietly as he could, to no avail of course, Lola bolted for him upon hearing the door open. 

“How did it go?” She inquired. She was invested in this story clearly.

Ben couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Lola squealed. “Tell me everything.” She led him to the kitchen table where Ben retold the events as Lola sat and put her twopence in every few minutes. “I’m happy for you,” she told him. 

“There’s nothing to be happy about yet Lo, we ain’t even kissed.” Ben let out a slightly embarrassed laugh. 

Lola let out a pleased smile jokingly pinching Ben’s cheeks. “But he’s making you happy.” 

Ben smiled back at her. Callum was making him happy. 

Lola headed to bed and Ben was left with three pizzas. Jay had gone off to bed between him leaving and coming back, and Lola had nibbled on a single slice of hers whilst Ben was recalling the events of the past ten minutes whilst Ben hadn’t bothered to open his. Letting out a tired sigh, he found his pizza and opened it up. On the inside of the lid there was an array of black scribble. The first of it was a paragraph that read “You wanna hear a joke about pizza? Ah, never mind it’s a bit too cheesy.” Ben’s smile stretching across his face. Callum was a piece of work. Underneath there were five numbers “07376” followed by a wink, Ben thought for a moment, fingers tracing over the numbers trying to suss out what it was. It dawned on him that this was the start of Callum’s number. Why only the start?  _ Why was nothing simple with Callum?  _ Ben let out a blissful smile. He was getting  _ somewhere  _ with Callum. Slowly but surely.

Ben laughed to himself. Callum was a challenge, but that was part of the fun. He was slowly working him out. 


	5. Peace Offering?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that lockdown has been extended, i've decided to pick this story back up where i left off, last time it was sort of a joke, and i had no idea where it was going. i've now actually planned the plot and am giving the characters depth, angst and all that!! give me a while to adjust the tags and make things like that of a proper fic, i hope u enjoy! thank you to the people who have been asking for this fic, u guys are the ones who have made me wanna continue! as always thank u to kewi for proof reading and editing the tenses i always screw up LOOOL  
> find me on twitter; @loiapearce

Ben was awoken the next morning by the cold morning air hitting at his sides. He slowly adjusted his eyes to the daylight slithering in from the gap under his curtains and blinked a few times, assessing his hangover situation and shaking his head gently as he realised he’d had a lucky escape.  _ No headache, no nausea _ . He smiled, pleased with himself before turning his head to see a Lexi shaped lump in his duvet next to him. 

“Morning Princess,” he whispered softly, morning voice in full force as he reached to poke at her sides, tickling gently. It did the trick - almost immediately a flash of golden bed head erupted from the duvet, childish giggles filling the eerily quiet morning peace. Ben never liked the quiet. His whole childhood, even young adulthood, had been filled with so much mayhem that he had learnt to almost find calm amongst the chaos. Lola and Jay’s lovesick bickering and Lexi singing along to Little Mix from the living room is what made him feel safe, not the silence. Silence was unnerving. Intimidating even.  _ Maybe I should look into therapy,  _ Ben thought briefly before pulling Lexi in to his side for morning cuddles. A ritual they both appreciated. 

Ben lay staring up at the ceiling as he gently ran his fingers through his daughter's golden locks. Memories of last night hit him like a truck. He felt his heart rate pick up remembering he had half of Callum’s number. Smile planted on his face. Callum was definitely a handful; everything was a challenge or a puzzle to crack with him, but the suspense and build up was exciting. Ben was thankful for that to an extent. It was fun, thrilling almost. It wasn’t just another hook up and dash which is what he’d become accustomed to. It was new. He was dragged from his thoughts when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Looking down he was met with bright blue eyes.

“Breakfast?” Lexi questioned, twirling the end of her hair almost comically. She was definitely the product of her Mum and Dad. Ben let out a small chuckle, a smile reaching his eyes. 

“And what would you like for breakfast Madam?” Ben queried, sitting up and pulling her into his lap. Lexi thought for a while, eyes wandering the room as she did so, quite clearly deep in contemplation. 

“Pancakes,” she decided, nodding her head to solidify her choice before adding, “with chocolate chips,” and jumping out of her father's grasp. She stood by the bed looking up at him, silently pleading with him to go to the kitchen and start breakfast. 

Ben smiled down at her. “You’re on the right track there, babe.” He got up, yawning slightly, and grabbing a t-shirt from the floor to chuck on over his joggers before ushering her out of the room. “Your Mum will kill me if she finds me feeding you chocolate before..” He trailed off, turning to see the alarm clock situated on his bedside table and cursing himself for not checking it sooner. 7:34am. He shook his head gently. In his party days, this time of morning was the middle of the night. He’d come stumbling in smelling like booze, ransack his small kitchen, and fall into bed as everyone else was rising. “Right c’mon Princess, we’ve got a long day.” 

-

By 9:00am, when Lola and Jay had started stirring, they’d already made and demolished several chocolate chip pancakes, had coloured in various pictures, and Ben had watched Lexi perform a rendition of some dance routine she had learnt from the TV. He was exhausted but he was happy. He couldn’t believe he would have missed out on this, on so much more. Watching his little girl grow up was one of his greatest privileges. Saying that, Ben was more than happy to volunteer to escape to go and pick up some bits and bobs from the shop for lunch as soon as Lola and Jay had appeared.

Ben walked briskly over to the supermarket. This was a quick trip. He wanted to pop in and out to avoid any locals; he wasn’t in the mood for small talk with people he pretended to like, not today. He just wanted to get back to the warmth of his happy family bubble and maybe think some more about Callum. Walking into the local store, he gave a quick nod to the security guard on the door. The guard looked back at him, nose scrunching ever so slightly in recognition and chest puffing up in defence. He’d definitely been one of the multiple security guards who knew him by face back from his troubled teen days. Stealing things to grasp the smallest ounce of attention he so desperately craved from his Dad. He promised himself he’d do better for Lexi than his Dad did for him. 

With a small shake of his head he pulled a tattered bit of paper from his pocket. After he had announced he was heading to the shop Lola immediately got to writing a list the size of his arm. His eyes scanned the words: it ranged from toilet paper to frozen chicken nuggets.  _ ‘Gonna need a trolley for this lot. _ He thought. He headed back out to collect a trolley, desperate to get this done as quickly as possible. As he was making his way back, eyes distracted by his list, he felt something knock his trolley and slightly taking him with it. He stumbled to the right off balance. “Watch it mate.” He looked up angrily. It didn’t take much to set Ben off. Looking round absentmindedly, his eyes locked with the back of someone’s head hurriedly parading away. He was a taller man, certainly not looking back as Ben tutted, irritated. “Rude,” Ben bellowed out toward the man, watching him trail down an aisle. This earned him a dirty look from the guard.

-

Annoyed by the occurrence, Ben got to completing the shopping, working his way through Lola’s list. Anyone would have thought they were stockpiling. After about twenty minutes he was making good progress - he had picked almost everything from the list up, leaving just a few more things to get. As he made his way to the freezers, his eyes locked with a familiar face.  _ Callum.  _ He blinked a few times, checking his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Scanning what Callum was wearing, a grey oversized sweatshirt, he quickly realised this was the guy who had bumped into him not twenty minutes earlier.  _ Why didn’t he say anything?  _ Ben pondered, watching Callum carefully. He stood looking at the wall of alcohol, eyes scanning haphazardly. He looked different, scared almost. His hair was free of product, fluffy, flat and laying just above his eyes. Ben wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate to go over. They weren’t friends. Or were they? What were they?  _ Pizza boy who you regularly flirt with _ didn’t seem like a sturdy label. Ben lingered out of sight, watching him as Callum picked up a few bottles of alcohol and stashing them under his arms. Ben pulled out his phone, checking the time. It was still only just past 10am. Sliding his phone back in his pocket, he grabbed his trolley, slowly making his way over to Callum. He didn’t know if he was breaking some kind of boundary by doing this, but leaving him without checking he was okay wasn’t going to happen. 

Ben gently approached Callum. “Um..” He stuttered, unsure on how to go about this. Callum jumped slightly, head snapping round to greet Ben’s line of vision. He looked like a wreck, and that was putting it nicely. Dark circles surrounded his bright blue eyes, contrasting against his pale skin. He looked exhausted, worn out like he hadn’t slept for weeks. A stark comparison to the bright, bubbly, sparkly eyed pizza boy he’d grown to know. Whom he’d seen just last night. _ What had happened? _ It comforted Ben ever so slightly to know he wasn’t as perfect as first anticipated, but worry soon surpassed the comfort, eating away at his gut and creating a pool of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. Ben quickly contemplated what to say next. “Are you okay?” He settled on.  _ That wasn’t weird was it? _ Ben’s eyes scanned Callum’s face looking for any kind of reaction. Callum’s eyes were glossed over, dull, no life behind them. Callum looked away from him, shuffling on his feet awkwardly, almost like he didn’t want to be seen. 

“What’s it to you?” He spat eventually. Venom in his tone. Ben’s eyes widened, stunned by his response. 

“Callum?” Ben questioned, voice wavering slightly with worry.

“Ben.” Callum replied flatly, eyes drifting back to the wall of alcohol in front of them, no interest in holding a conversation. 

Ben watched carefully as Callum rearranged the bottles he’d been holding under his arms. Ben took a different approach. 

“Do you need help?.” He pointed to the many bottles Callum had been struggling to keep a grasp on.

“No.” Callum didn’t bother to look at Ben. 

“Callum,” Ben repeated, desperate, worry evident. He gently stretched his hand out to lay on Callum’s shoulder in an attempt to get him to make eye contact, but before Ben could lay his palm down Callum jerked his shoulder abruptly, leaving Ben’s hand to fall almost like it had never happened.

“Don’t Ben.” He warned, finally turning to face him.  Ben was at a loss for words. He didn’t know where to tread next, it all felt like uneven terrority - if he made one more wrong move, everything would come crashing down. 

Ben let out a gentle sigh. “Look, I know it’s none of my business-”

“You’re right.” Callum cut him off sternly. “It is none of your business.” He blinked a few times, seemingly grounding himself. “So just leave it, yeah?” He finished, walking away from Ben. Ben debated going after him for a second, it felt almost intrusive.  _ Hell it did feel intrusive _ . He didn’t know this guy well enough to run after him and prod at him until he’d told him what had made him get in such a state. He didn’t really know this guy at all. He had no place to pry, but he so desperately wanted to. He wanted to find out what was wrong and take care of it to the best of his abilities. To at least  _ try  _ to make Callum feel better. That’s all he wanted. 

Ben grabbed his trolley and made his way to check out. Callum had left him feeling shaken before, always in a good way. The uncertainty excited him. Whereas this uncertainty left him with a sickly feeling swirling round his stomach. Knowing he had no way to get in contact with Callum, just to check he was hanging in there at least, sparked a panicky feeling within his chest.

Taking a few deep breaths he quickly finished up and headed out, practically sprinting. He wasn’t even sure why he was in such a hurry, there was nothing he could do now. Maybe he should’ve prodded more. Ben slowed down, trailing his feet slightly and deciding to use the short walk home to think.  _ Maybe it wasn’t that bad? Maybe he’d just had a rough shift. Rude customers maybe.  _ Ben couldn’t count the amount of times he’d come home from the car lot after dealing with aggy customers for eight hours and just drowned his sorrows.  _ Family issues?  _ Again, the amount of times Ben had had an argument with his Dad that had led to him ignoring the world for days at a time, leaving people rightfully worried. He realised he was using made up scenarios to ease his mind and put his anxiety at ease, but if he didn’t it would eat at him for the rest of the day and probably night. He didn't fancy a night tossing and turning. As he walked along the pavement, more thoughts popped into his head questioning what had got into Callum, followed by more thoughts justifying the previous set of thoughts - it was a vicious cycle. His mind was going round in circles. 

-

As he approached his flat, he’d calmed his mind slightly, even though the worry was still rather prominent and niggling at the back of his mind. Was there any point in worrying if there was nothing he could do about it? He made his way up the steps, unlocked the door and placed the three bags he had down in the kitchen. Soon enough Lexi had skipped through making her way to the bags to rummage. 

“Hey Missy,” He mused, tickling her head as she searched through the bags for something that took her fancy. She eventually settled on a tray of cupcakes, holding them up to show Ben with hopeful eyes gazing up at him. “Please?” She asked politely, pointing to which she had taken a liking to. Ben clicked his tongue. He definitely spoiled her. Ben lifted her to sit on the counter, opening the tray of cupcakes and holding them out for her to choose one. “Your Mum is going to kill me,” He muttered under his breath. Lexi smiled sweetly at him before taking a bite of her cupcake, icing reaching her nose. “Not if she don’t find out,” Lexi remarks matter-of-factly through a mouth full of cupcake. Ben let out a stifled chuckle. It still amazed him how many of Lexi’s mannerisms and quirks are that of Ben’s. Ben turned round to start putting away the shopping. “Where is your Mum and Uncle Jay anyway?”

She thought for a moment, jabbing at the icing on her cake before motioning her hand towards the door. “Somewhere through there,” she replied. “You’re funner to play with.” Lexi gave a sweet smile. “They’re boring,” she added, pulling a face in true Lexi fashion.

“Thanks Lex.” Ben gave her a grateful smile. 

Ben finished unpacking the shopping before his eyes landed on the leftover pizza boxes from last night, remembering what had just occurred. 

“Daddy,” Lexi questioned, pulling him from his thoughts. 

Ben looked over to her.

“You look sad,” she remarked, studying his face.

Ben knew his daughter was wise beyond her years, she picked up on people's emotions, and had bucketloads of empathy for just about anyone. _ Strangers even _ . Definitely a trait inherited from Lola. Not to say Ben didn’t have empathy or feelings, but it certainly wasn’t his strongest attribute. He was even weaker at expressing his feelings, it made him feel fragile or sometimes even incapable.

Ben walked over to join his daughter, leaning against the counter next to her. 

“Daddy’s friend is just a bit sad,” he replied honestly. 

Lexi nodded understandingly. “I get sad when my friends are sad too.”

Ben nodded back as she passed him her empty cupcake wrapper. She pondered for a moment. “Is it the pizza man friend?” She questioned confidently, aware she knew more than she should. 

Ben nodded softly. “Yeah it is.”

“Well, I hope he’s happy again soon, he seemed nice.” She finished, jumping down from the counter and making her way out to the living room. “C’mon I want to show you what I made.” She placed her hand in Ben’s and dragged them both out of the kitchen. 

The rest of the day trawled by slowly. Ben had ended up falling asleep on the sofa in the middle of some film they’d been watching, the four of them cuddled up under a blanket, enjoying each other's company, popcorn strewn across the floor. 

-

By early evening Lola, Jay and Lexi had retreated back to their own flat, leaving Ben with a floor full of stale popcorn and pillows dispersed across the floor where they’d all participated in a family pillow fight. He quickly tidied the mess, straightening everything out. He was just recycling the popcorn buckets as he, once again, caught eyes with the pizza boxes from the previous night. He gave out a restless sigh, pulling his box from the recycling and tracing the black scrawl gently. He’d like to say he had a lovely day with his family, really that is the truth, but on the other hand, his entire day had been plagued with thoughts of Callum.  _ Where was he? What was he doing? Was he on the piss up by himself? Was he hurting?  _ Realistically Ben didn’t know why he cared so deeply or why he was so affected by this. But he did, and he couldn’t  _ change  _ that. His hands came up to his face rubbing gently, letting his tiredness overcome him. Almost on command there was a loud knock on the door. 

He ran a lazy hand through his hair, sighing.  _ What have they forgotten now,  _ he thought, making his way to the door. He pulled the door open and was met with.. _ Nothing. _ Cautiously he poked his head out to gaze down the hallway. He looked both ways and was met with, again.. _ nothing.  _ His eyebrows furrowed together, puzzled. He repeated the previous action of glancing down the hallway, as if that would make someone magically appear. He took a small step back into his flat, wondering if he’d just imagined the blaring knock he could’ve swore he had heard just seconds ago. Just as he was about to close the door his wandering eyes caught on to a small, blue dominos box perched just in front of his door. Bewildered, he bent down to retrieve it. It had a post it note attached with a small black scrawl across it.

_ Peace offering? _ It read. Ben’s eyebrows furrowed, once again, arguably more puzzled than he was thirty seconds earlier. He opened the box and was met with four cookies, still warm.  _ This man is something else.  _ He took one more look down the corridor, making sure Callum hadn’t stayed lingering before closing the box and tentatively closing the door. 

He felt a sense of relief wash over him, exhaling a breath he wasn’t aware he had been holding.  _ Callum was fine.  _ Or at least fine enough to make the trek to hand deliver Ben warm cookies. He didn’t know where that left them. Were things back to  _ normal _ ? As normal as chatting up your pizza boy can get, that is. Would Callum want to talk about this? Ben was more than happy to listen of course, but would Callum be willing to tell? These were all questions for another day. Right now, Ben knew Callum was fine. He could rest easy. 

He gently detached the post it from the pizza box, putting it in his pocket and patting it gently, a warm feeling dispersing through his chest replacing the anxiety that had been there previously. He then made his way to the old pizza boxes, searching for the number. He gently tore the cardboard so he was left with a small sliver, Callum’s half of a number scrawled across it. He placed that in his pocket next to his post it note and made his way upstairs. 

Sat gently on his bed, he retrieved the two papers from his pocket, opening his bedside drawers and tucking them gently in. He wasn’t sure what the next step was, he knew he wanted -  _ needed _ to talk to Callum, but would Callum let him in?


	6. Wonderland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im whizzing through this story now i've got the plot down!! im super excited on where i'm going to take it. this chapters a little bit more fluffy!! but theres also some foreshadows OOOOoOOoOo. talk to me in the comments!!

Ben would be lying if he’d said Callum’s doorstep drop had settled his anxiety completely. He wanted to know more - perhaps it was from a place of nosiness, maybe just from a place of caution. Either way, he was desperate to get more familiar with this guy, but this had just muddled his already swirling head more. Most importantly, he wanted to check Callum actually was as okay as he was making himself out to be, that it wasn’t just a ploy to get Ben to settle and not pester him about details of the previous morning.

Ben’s next plan of action was to get in contact with Callum which, obviously, wasn’t an easy task considering he had a mere six digits. He’d been getting on with his day as usual, knowing Dominos was definitely not open in the mornings, much to his dismay.  _ I mean who would want a pizza at 9am?  _ He let out a defeated sigh. He  _ would  _ be the guy to order pizza at 9am if it only was to check on Callum. _ He was in deep _ . 

By the time midday had rolled around he’d spent the morning pottering around, sorting some odd bits in the car lot whilst Jay had been in and out all morning and not really doing much work; instead tossing the odd jibe at Ben, going to refill his coffee, and fiddling with the overflowing stack of paperwork on his desk. It was on the third return from the cafe, as Jay waltzed in, kicking the door shut with his foot, a cup of steaming hot coffee in each hand, that Jay decided was the appropriate time to bring up Callum.

“So..” He started, placing one of the paper cups in front of Ben. 

Ben looked up at him, slightly miffed, having predicted what was going to come out of his mouth. 

“This pizza boy.” Jay nodded his head towards Ben, ushering him to lead the conversation. 

Ben let out a small sigh as if to say  _ you wouldn’t believe. _

“Not much to comment on to be honest.” He took a small sip on his coffee, looking back to Jay who nodded sympathetically. 

“Anything happen yesterday?.” He pushed, clearly not quite believing Ben’s previous comment. Ben’s eyes slightly squinted at that, looking at Jay pondering where all this had come from. 

Jay continued.“You were weird yesterday mate.” 

“Weird?.” Ben retorted.

Jay nodded and moved the cup between his two hands. “Ever since you got back from the shops.”

Jay waited a couple of seconds to see if Ben would take the lead. Instead, Ben just stared back at him blinking slowly. 

“Are you gonna tell me or are we gonna sit here all day?.” Jay added. “I can do either. I'm easy.” He took another mouthful of his coffee, eyes landing back on Ben. 

Ben realised there was no way he was getting out of this one. “I saw him in the supermarket.” He started nonchalantly, twiddling with his fingers to ease the awkwardness he felt.

“Right.” 

“And he was buying booze..” 

Jay nodded, following Ben’s words carefully.

“He was buying booze and he looked rough, really rough.” Ben finished, slumping down in his chair.

“You talk to him?” 

“Course I did!.” Ben jumped in, almost defensively. “He basically told me to mind my own business.” Ben rolled his head back against his chair, eyes wandering to the ceiling. He wasn’t too good at talking. Jay knew that.

“Right.” Jay concluded. “Which is why you were all mopey yesterday, and haven’t been talking my ear off all morning, makes sense.” 

Silence surrounded them, Ben getting situated on his chair properly once again before letting out a small “..Yeah.” 

“Hmmm.”

“Oh yeah, and he left cookies on my doorstep after you’d all left.” Ben added, almost red faced.

“As you do?.” Jay replied unconcerned, going back to flipping through the paperwork littering his desk. Ben appreciated that.

“Yeah.. anyway, I’m gonna talk to him tonight.”

“You got his number?”

Ben’s face heated up again. “Err. Not quite.” His eyes wandered back to the ceiling, avoiding eye contact. 

Jay let out a harsh snicker. “Aw mate, you two are made for each other, this is ridiculous.” There was no real malice in his tone.

No more was said after that, but Ben knew Jay had used that conversation to let him know the door was open if he ever did want to talk, an unspoken gesture. He was grateful really. The rest of the day had dragged on with little to no work being done. Between Jay’s unmotivated mood and lack of customers, the day had been spent catching up and attempting to look busy when someone had shown up. 

For obvious reasons, they had managed to get away early. They’d said their goodbyes and Ben had arrived back at his flat by 4:00pm. Lazily kicking his shoes off as he made his way through the door, his eyes gazed behind him to double check Callum hadn’t left a rogue pizza hanging around. After closing the door with a quiet click, almost immediately, he pulled the Domino’s app up and began scrolling through pizzas. He didn’t actually want anything, this was just his only way to Callum. He added a pizza to his basket, which thankfully had amounted to the minimum delivery cost, and hit the pay button - like clockwork, his new developed routine. He clicked over to the delivery information tab and sure enough, his delivery driver was Callum. He heaved a sigh of relief, thankful he wouldn’t have to fuss about cancelling orders today. Sliding his phone back in his pocket, he decided to busy himself by starting on some of the paperwork he had brought back with him from the car lot, attempting to make sure today wasn’t going to be a complete write off. 

-

Around twenty minutes later came the soft knock - much quieter than normal, he made a mental note of that. Heaving himself up from where he’d set up at the kitchen table, he hastily made his way to the door, pulling it open eagerly, nerves setting in. He was met with a tender smile.  _ Callum _ . Ben took a closer look at his face, scanning for any signs that things weren’t okay. Callum was definitely looking better, not 100%, but he had some life behind his eyes again, albeit his smile wasn’t quite reaching them and he still looked bone-tired. After Ben was satisfied with his thorough examination of Callum’s face, he finally locked eyes with him, giving him a comforting smile. 

“Okay?.” Ben questioned lightly, not wanting to dig into him instantly. He needed to give him room to breathe. 

Callum nodded, almost cautiously handing him the pizza box, clear blue eyes flickering between the box and Ben waiting for him to take it. Ben mirrored his action, taking the box from his grasp, hands brushing against each other slightly. He felt his stomach bunch up, heat rising on his cheeks. He felt  _ pathetic _ .  _ What he’d do to just hold this boy's hand. _ He let out a quick cough distracting himself, eyes averting from their hands back to Callum’s face. 

“I think we need-” Ben starts firmly.

Callum cuts him off. “Look Ben, I am sorry about what happened yesterday.” His hand went up to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly.  _ Oh so he is human, he can be awkward,  _ Ben thought to himself.

Callum continued his train of thought. “I was having a rough day.” He started before thinking slightly. “Well, rough night.” He avoided eye contact, looking down to his feet. 

“Rough enough to be on the bottle at 10am?.” Ben joked, intending to break the tension slightly, but coming off far more harsh then he’d expected. He winced slightly hoping Callum hadn’t taken it to heart.

Callum gave a feeble, uncomfortable laugh. “Uh, yeah?.” His ‘yeah’ came off unsure, more of a question than an answer. 

“Ben-” Callum started again.

Ben cut him off before he could finish. “Look Callum, as you said yesterday it’s none of my business..”

Callum cut him off in return. This was becoming a pattern.

“Listen Ben, I'm sorry you had to see me like that. But that’s all it was, a rough day.” He reiterated with more confidence, giving Ben a more convincing smile but it still didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I don’t believe you.” Ben stated honestly, reaching out his empty hand to lightly trace Callum’s dark undereye bags as if to say,  _ are you seeing these? _ Callum sank into his feather touch and Ben could feel him relax against his hand. Callum clearly wasn’t very good at hiding his emotions. Ben could see he was just about hanging in. After a few seconds Ben pulled away his hand.

“Do you want to talk?.” Ben queried, voice staying soft. Almost feeling as if he got too loud he’d scare Callum away.

Callum gave out a defeated sigh, “I’m clocked on still.” He thought for a minute. “Tomorrow?” He added, eyes lighting up ever so, his face filling with life for the first time the entire conversation. 

Ben nodded in agreement. 

“11:00am at the park down the road?.” Callum asked.

Ben smiled at how relaxed he had suddenly become, giving him a satisfied nod.

“Sounds good to me, pizza boy,” his voice barely above a whisper. 

Callum pointed to the pizza box still lingering in Ben’s hand. “Enjoy,” and with that, he was off.

Ben was left standing in his doorway watching Callum walk away as he held a box of pizza he wasn’t planning on eating. Satisfied with the conversation though, he closed the door, heading to put the pizza in the fridge.  _ Lexi’s tea sorted for tomorrow.  _ He went back and parked himself down at the kitchen table, tactfully making a dent in his paperwork so he could place down his elbows without creasing his large stack of papers. He had successfully managed to make plans with Callum who had  _ also  _ seemed happy about the arrangement. In all sense of the word, it was a successful conversation. He was excited for tomorrow, to see Callum in a different, hopefully more relaxed setting. Although, whether he talked would be another story. He gently massaged his temples thinking about how he had agreed to go with Callum tomorrow even though he was up to his neck in work. Jay would probably kill him. Deciding to get a head start, he began on his significant amount of paperwork pooling out in front of him. 

After a fair few hours absorbed in paperwork, he’d finally made a dent in it. Ben called it a night. Stretching up against his chair and yawning, he checked the time. 8:34pm. Deep in thought, he remembered the pizza in the fridge, heading over to grab a slice.  _ Dinner sorted.  _ He made his way into the bedroom, pizza slice still in hand, opening the wardrobe.  _ Was this kind of a date?  _ He thought, eyeing all his clothes, some hanging on coat hangings, others messily littering the bottom of his wardrobe. He took a bite of the pizza.  _ Sort of a date? _ Even if it wasn’t in those words, a date, it was more than he’d experienced in a long while. It was definitely more of a date than getting smashed and going home with any man who gave him the time of day. He winced at the memory. He wasn’t proud, especially when he remembered he had a child at home who needed him and that’s how he’d been spending his time. Finishing his pizza slice, he rubbed his hands on his pants and proceeded to pick out a forest green t-shirt alongside his black leather jacket.  _ Casual.  _ He hated how much he was overthinking this. Sighing, he hung his previously chosen outfit on his wardrobe doors and headed to bed. 

-

Awoken the next morning, the ringing of his phone was blaring in his ears. Grumbling, he turned over to see who he had the pleasure of being awoken by this morning. Eyes darted to caller ID,  _ Bruv.  _ The time read 9:45am. _ That wasn’t good. _ He picked up, putting a slight croak in his voice. 

“Hey bruv,” he rasped out, coughing slightly afterwards. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jay questioned back.

“Not feeling too well.” Ben coughed again, really trying to get his point across.

“Yeah mate, you sound  _ really  _ rough,” Jay coughed out, mocking him. 

Before Ben could muster up a reply, Jay jumped in. “Are you not coming in today?”

“This afternoon?.” Ben replied, doubt in his voice, not even sure if what was coming out of his mouth was true. 

“Right, well, have fun doing whatever you’re doing this morning, I don’t want to know. Stay safe, would you?.” Jay added before hanging up the line.

That couldn’t have gone better really, even if Jay did think he was off on some mad sex escapade. Now that was over with, he hoisted himself out from the warming comfort of his duvet and headed to the shower. By 10:30am, he was showered and dressed ready to leave. In all honesty he was feeling the nerves settle in his stomach, whirling round, making him feel a bit nauseous. He wasn’t going in expecting Callum to spill his darkest secrets, that wouldn’t be fair. He just hoped he could bring some comfort like he had seemingly done the day before. Deciding now was a good time as any, he started making his way over to the park they’d decided on. 

-

He had made it to the park with time to spare, eyeing the nearest bench to situate himself on. The cold, hard slats weren’t doing his legs many favours, and he wiggled himself around trying to get comfortable, pleading silently Callum wouldn’t leave him waiting long. Soon enough, he saw Callum approaching him from the distance. Giving his phone a quick check, he realised Callum was also undeniably early.  _ At least they were in the same eager boat.  _ He thought to himself, pulling himself from the bench and stretching his now aching legs, walking towards Callum to meet him halfway. 

Callum seemed arguably calmer than the previous day: his hair was styled, dark circles less prominent. He seemed content enough clad in an oversized, dark blue sweatshirt, a rainbow mug printed on in the right corner. 

“Hey,” Callum started. He seemed quieter than usual, not in a worrying way, just  _ softer _ .

“Thank you for coming.” Ben replied, motioning his hands around the park around them. 

He laughed. “Ben...I suggested the plans, I ain't gonna not show up to plans I suggested.” 

Ben nodded in return, realising how odd he sounded, but he  _ was  _ grateful Callum had come - the other boy felt very unpredictable to Ben at the moment.

“Shall we walk down there?.” Callum pointed up to a quiet trail ahead of them. 

Ben hummed in agreement. 

“Okay.” And with that, they were walking side by side toward a trail, which seemed to have a duck pond along. It looked relaxing, peaceful even. Along with the ducks, there were beautiful, white swans swimming round the pond elegantly. 

Callum watched the swans hesitantly. 

“You know swans can break your arm.” He mused, at Ben, although not taking his eyes from said swans, observing their every move.

“I could take a swan.” Ben announced confidently.

Callum tutted at him. “Until they break your arms.”

Ben laughed at him. At how enjoyable it was spending time with Callum.

They walked in comfortable silence after this.  _ Why did this silence feel comfortable?  _ He hadn’t felt comfortable silence since Paul. Silence wasn’t comfortable for him. Shaking the thought off, he averted his attention to Callum, who seemed to be the epitome of contentment, walking along placidly, head spinning round every so often to view his surroundings. 

“Sorry again for the other day.” Callum hummed as they’re approaching the pond ahead.

“You don’t need to keep apologising, Callum.” Ben reminded him, reaching out to grab his hand comfortingly, giving a firm squeeze before dropping it, not wanting to cross an unspoken line. 

Callum blinked down, offended at the loss of the contact and reaching back for Ben’s hand before intertwining their fingers. They both smiled in contentment. This felt nice. 

“I like how quiet it is.” Callum remarked as they walked along the pond front, swinging their interlocked hands between them. The only sound that could be heard were the birds calling to each other through the trees and the slight crunch of the gravel beneath their feet. 

It was virtually deserict. The occasional jogger would run past, but other than that it felt like they were in a secret wonderland, only for them. The sun beamed golden rays through the leaves, creating beautiful sparkles across the pond. They eventually ended up at a patch of fresh, green grass, flower beds surrounded, crimson and golden tulips spread around the border. Callum walked ahead slightly, tugging Ben’s hand behind him towards a bench conveniently placed in the middle. Sitting themselves down on opposite ends of the bench, Callum almost immediately reached across the table for Ben’s hand again. Ben smiled up at him, stroking his thumb against his knuckles in a calming manner. 

“How are you feeling?” He checked. 

“Nice.” Callum smiled, corners of his smile finally reaching his eyes.

Ben was pleased with that. “So, how do you know about this place?.” He questioned, motioning his free hand to the small flowered garden around them. “Come here often?”

Callum looked around fondly, familiarly. “I like to come here to think.” He says simply. “It’s calming, it’s almost always this quiet.” He nodded towards Ben. “I don’t bring just anyone here.” 

It was Ben’s turn for his smile to reach his eyes, lighting up his face. “Well, i’m honoured.” 

“None of your ex-boyfriends got to experience this?” Ben questioned, actually looking round to admire the serenity of it all. 

Unknown to Ben, Callum grimaced at this before recollecting himself. 

“Nope.” Callum shook his head weakly.

“Lucky me.” Ben winked at Callum cheekily, resuming tracing patterns into his knuckles. It seemed to recalm Callum, both enjoying the pleasantness of the situation. 

-

They sat hand in hand making small talk for the next twenty minutes. Ben was unnerved at how easy it was to talk to Callum - there were no awkward pauses or wondering what to say next, it just came easy.  _ It felt too good to be true.  _ Callum seemed carefree here, no weight of the world evident on his shoulders. No wonder he came here to think. They were brought back to reality by Callum’s text notification going off, vibrating against the bench and making him jump slightly.

“Oh, so you do own a phone, thought it was a myth.” Ben joked. 

Callum shook his head fondly. Untangling their hands, he removed his phone from his pocket, eyes carefully scanning his notifications, shoulders dropping slightly. Ben watched carefully assessing his body language as Callum slid his phone back in his pocket, not bothering to reply.

“Everything okay?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Callum scratched the back of his neck, uncomfortable demeanour returning, a complete switch to the carefree man that he’d just spent the last half hour getting to know. 

“I’ve got to go though.” Callum announced, untangling himself from the bench swiftly, not really giving Ben time to comprehend what had just occurred in the last fifteen seconds. 

“Can we do this again?” Ben tried.

Callum nodded his head unconvincingly. “Definitely.” Ben wasn’t buying it.

He tried again. “Can i have your number?”

This threw Callum. Ben saw the cogs turning in the other man's head, thinking carefully. 

After a few seconds of deliberation, Callum nodded in agreement, holding his hand out for Ben’s phone. Ben handed it over, smiling in succession to himself. He watched as Callum tapped out his number into Ben’s contacts, finishing with a small, reserved smile before handing the phone back delicately. He once again looked stressed, not as severe as the supermarket mind, but definitely not as at peace as he’d been as when he was sat hand in hand with Ben. 

Immediately after tapping his number in Ben’s phone, he was off, heading out the flower garden, walking with purpose. Ben would’ve done anything to bring him back, bundle him up, draw soft patterns into his knuckles and make him feel as calm as he seemed to this morning, but that was unrealistic. He didn’t know what was going on with Callum or what he’d seen on his phone. He hoped Callum would one day let him in, let him help. It was now Ben’s turn to untangle himself from the bench, letting out a heavy sigh, checking the time and seeing it wasn’t even midday. It looked like he was going to work this afternoon. He made his way out the park, memories from this morning already whirling round his head.  _ More confusion.  _

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a joke in a groupchat but then i slowly fell in love with the idea of Ben Mitchell ordering 3 pizzas a week because he wants to catch a glimpse of Callum again. I don't know where it's going but it's been so much fun to write. :)  
> Find me on twitter: @loiapearce  
> Thank you to @raggedymvn and Kewi for editing this for me *claps claps*


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